Achieving Balance is a simple book that will change your Life.
includes 60+ artists illustrations
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1. The Emotional Rollercoaster
Life has many ups and downs and it can sometimes feel like being on an emotional rollercoaster.
This can be exhausting and emotionally draining and can contribute to a lack of balance and wellbeing. The question is ‘what is causing us to feel this way?’ and, moreover, ‘what can we do to improve the way we are feeling?’
Let us first look at the ingredients that cause disappointments in our life. It is not the event we experience itself that causes us to be disappointed but instead it is our expectation of how the event is going to be that is the culprit.
In a nutshell, disappointment is the difference between our expectation of an event and the way it actually turns out to be. Think about if you were going to a party and you thought it was going to be a great night out and when you got there you were the only person there. You would be disappointed because the expectation was that it was going to be great and the reality was that it wasn’t great. The difference between the expectation and the reality created the disappointment, not the event itself.
Every day people have several expectations of the events in the day ahead and inevitably when the reality of the events is different to the expectation this creates a series of disappointments. Of course the opposite could happen if the reality is better than the expectation - this will create an emotional high.
Some of our expectations are thought about in our conscious mind and others are reflex expectations that are embedded in our subconscious mind. It is like when you go to the dentist and subconsciously you expect it to be a painful and unpleasant experience. You don’t have to think about it because your expectation of the event is generated automatically.
So it can be seen that our expectations of events are the key factors that lead to disappointments and emotional highs and drive the emotional rollercoaster that we experience.
The question is how do we turn the rollercoaster white-knuckle ride into a calm, relaxing and balanced journey through our lives?
The answer is to always have an expectation that events will be as they are going to be. If you look at events in this way it follows that when the reality of the event turns out to be as it is, this is always the same as your expectation. This means that you do not experience disappointment or emotional highs because events are always in line with your expectations and you have freed yourself from the emotional rollercoaster.
Changing your expectations is another way of saying that you are accepting events as they are as opposed to having an expectation that they are going to be how you want them to be. If you think about it, the only thing you control is what you do or what you think and so it would be unreasonable to expect everything to happen in the way you want it to, given the number of things that are outside your control.
This seemingly simple concept is a key element in emotional balance and understanding and applying this principle is very important.
To free yourself from the emotional rollercoaster have an expectation that events will be as they are going to be. Learn to accept things the way they are and do not expect events to be how you want them to be.
Life has many ups and downs and it can sometimes feel like being on an emotional rollercoaster.
This can be exhausting and emotionally draining and can contribute to a lack of balance and wellbeing. The question is ‘what is causing us to feel this way?’ and, moreover, ‘what can we do to improve the way we are feeling?’
Let us first look at the ingredients that cause disappointments in our life. It is not the event we experience itself that causes us to be disappointed but instead it is our expectation of how the event is going to be that is the culprit.
In a nutshell, disappointment is the difference between our expectation of an event and the way it actually turns out to be. Think about if you were going to a party and you thought it was going to be a great night out and when you got there you were the only person there. You would be disappointed because the expectation was that it was going to be great and the reality was that it wasn’t great. The difference between the expectation and the reality created the disappointment, not the event itself.
Every day people have several expectations of the events in the day ahead and inevitably when the reality of the events is different to the expectation this creates a series of disappointments. Of course the opposite could happen if the reality is better than the expectation - this will create an emotional high.
Some of our expectations are thought about in our conscious mind and others are reflex expectations that are embedded in our subconscious mind. It is like when you go to the dentist and subconsciously you expect it to be a painful and unpleasant experience. You don’t have to think about it because your expectation of the event is generated automatically.
So it can be seen that our expectations of events are the key factors that lead to disappointments and emotional highs and drive the emotional rollercoaster that we experience.
The question is how do we turn the rollercoaster white-knuckle ride into a calm, relaxing and balanced journey through our lives?
The answer is to always have an expectation that events will be as they are going to be. If you look at events in this way it follows that when the reality of the event turns out to be as it is, this is always the same as your expectation. This means that you do not experience disappointment or emotional highs because events are always in line with your expectations and you have freed yourself from the emotional rollercoaster.
Changing your expectations is another way of saying that you are accepting events as they are as opposed to having an expectation that they are going to be how you want them to be. If you think about it, the only thing you control is what you do or what you think and so it would be unreasonable to expect everything to happen in the way you want it to, given the number of things that are outside your control.
This seemingly simple concept is a key element in emotional balance and understanding and applying this principle is very important.
To free yourself from the emotional rollercoaster have an expectation that events will be as they are going to be. Learn to accept things the way they are and do not expect events to be how you want them to be.